Tuesday, March 17, 2009

On What's Important

You know, I have spent a whole lotta time worrying about what someone says/said on the internet. People who I have never met, and probably never will. I have really tried to pull back on that. I think it would do us all a lot of good to look at the time we spend on discussion groups and forums, and see what that has gotten us? If the answer is mostly upset, or irritated, well, the answer is clear then isn't it? If the answer is gratified, or cheered up, well, then that's a good thing. But, in general, it is wise to be cognizant of the fact that discussion groups are just that- a way to discuss different things, and not any more. They are not support groups, they are not made up of "friends" in the sense that these people will drop everything and help you up when you have fallen. They are simply made up of people with the same interests, and that's it.

I have some very good friends that I know I can count on, and of course, my family. They are the ones I k-vetch to when people on the forum irritate me. Recently, when I was relating a tail of irritation from one of the forum to my friend, I realized what a complete waste of time it was to a) get irritated and b) relating it to someone else.

Bugger the people who are rude, or who slight me either accidentally, or on purpose.

So, effective today, I am off discussion forums. It just isn't worth it.

What's important? My friend in Virginia is dying. She has metastatic brain cancer. She can no longer type or speak. She has lived her life to the fullest, and been supportive to everyone, and is a salt of the earth lady. She is so young. I can't seem to stop crying when I remember seeing the video of her running her dog in agility, with the aid of a walker and assistant- clearly having a hard time. And, the way her dog looked at her, so concerned. It just is too much.

I am changing the way I operate. If people want to chat with me, or if I have questions, I will simply post them here on my blog, or we can email. Life is about being lived, and not having any regrets, and certainly not allowing others to upset you, for no practical reason, other than it's easy to be rude on line.

So, there you have it. What's important is to help when you can, support as needed, and be there, and be an example of "good people" whenever you get the chance, because you never know when you will be the one needing the support.


Darci said...

Well said.
Im sorry to hear about your friend, that is so sad. I got a good taste of those types of feelings early in life when my BF in the 9th grade passed away not two hours after talking to her on the phone. Though still, it doesnt get any easier. Peace be with you and your friend.

BCxFour said...


I can identify with your feelings. My dear friend passed a few years ago of cervical cancer. She was only 34 and left her young son. I think of her everyday.

Discussion groups can be valuable for the information they provide - but there is always the one or two people who make life difficult.

One if my friends has a saying he reminds me of from time to time "It is what it is". And he is right - it can be applied to so many areas of our life...especially dealing with people on a discussion group.

You are right, hold onto the ones you love and who love you - they are your constant. Hang in there and know that some people you meet on the internet understand the true meaning of friendship. The rest...well bugger them, they are not worth your energy.

fulltiltbcs said...

I am so sorry :( I echo what everyone else says...

Someone told me that you can't control people, just your reaction to them...

Stressful relationships are not worth holding onto...you don't need them :(

sheepkelpie said...

Thanks guys. Nothing has happened of late, so it's basically a latent epiphany of sorts. Anyway, I hope that my friend's passing is gentle and peaceful, and those of us who know her, all realize how great a shining star she is. That's pretty much all you get in the end.
Something much greater is learned here for me, remember what is fluff, and what is real.
Thanks again.