Sunday, January 31, 2010

How's dem apples?

I just received word that a dog bred VERY similar to Lucy- same father, "Cody" Spinifex Sailor, sister to Lucy's mother named "Foxy", have resulted in a TOP agility dog in Japan. This little bitch has received her National Grand Championship, winning it amongst all Border Collies. Here is a picture of this wonderful dog. This particular breeding has resulted in very good dogs. Not only excellent on sheep and cattle, but also top notch in Agility.

The Pub

Okay, first things first... I am a light weight, wimp, you name it. I generally don't go out at night much, and having drinks AND going out at night. Well, suffice to say, it was close, but I survived.

My friend invited me out to meet her and her hubby and some other friends to watch a band that they know I like, and played at their wedding. All day long, I toyed with begging out, but I decided once every 5-10 years, I should make an appearance...

So, I took my shower, got my very best jeans, and sweater out, and got myself ready for a night out. As I was leaving, I grabbed my leather jacket out of the closet. I stopped by the deli to get cash, and this guy turned to look at me. I thought, hey, I must look pretty good!....

So, I get to the restaurant a bit early and stand near the hostess just chatting. Now, she is nice young girl, and relays to me how her PARENTS don't go OUT anywhere, basically, that they are old. Well, I asked how old. Her mother is two years older than me. Talk about crushing me. This girl could be my daughter. OH LORD. I AM OLD, HOW DID IT HAPPEN?????????

So, later, a waitress comes up, and in the most gracious way possible, says "Do you know you have a hanger hanging off your jacket?" OH GOD. THAT'S what that guy was looking at- the creep- he should have told me. So, I hastily take it off and hold it there. I have now been sufficiently mortified between knowing I am OLD and I also too blind/dumb to notice I have a giant metal hanger hanging off my jacket.

My friends arrived about 1/2 hour late, but they got there. We then sat down to a very nice meal- I had garlic strip steak which was just amazing.

So, just as we pay our bill, the band is starting. This is GREAT timing :) So, we head off to a front corner table, which has an older couple at it. My friends asked if we could share. They agreed, and we began our evening enjoyment. Well, the band announces that this couple next to us are celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary. How cool is that? So, I went up and bought them each a drink, and the fun got going.

This band plays the old stuff, like Beetles, Bruce, you name it, and they are GOOD. So, we are listening and soon, we get to dancing. So, the lady who was celebrating her anniversary comes out and we dance (my friend, she, and me) and then I think, yep, I'm old. Okay, no biggy. Then, this girl comes out to dance with me, who I KNOW was holding the hand of some other girl. Great. You all know what I am thinking at this point right? This is NOT the attention I seek.

So, night goes on, libation is flowing, and then I ask if they know Bruce Springsteen. Much to my complete joy, they do. Now this band has a sax player, and a VERY good drummer, as well as keyboardist, and lead guitar.

Well, they broke into "Born to Run". At this point I am OVER JOYED- partially because I had a couple drinks, and partially because I just LOVE this song. So, there I am singing along. Then, I get this mad notion to pretend I am Patty Scialfa, and do the old tambourine slap on my hip... What a visual it must have been. Anyway, it was truly a highlight of the night.

Then, I asked if they knew "Little Sister" by Elvis. They did NOT!!! How could they NOT??? So, I press on. I go up to the drummer, and say it's a really easy riff on the guitar... So, I start singing a bit- "little sister don't you.... little sister don't you do what your big sister done..." So, then, before I know it, the drummer gives me his mic, and I am trying to sing. Now, I just finished singing a bunch of songs, so I was barely getting it out. It was over fast, because the band didn't really know it, but it was fun. Some lady came up and told me I did well....

So, soon it is getting to be about 1:00, and even though I have not turned into a pumpkin, I can feel it coming on. So, I bade my au revoirs, and set for home.

It was just a wonderful night. I think just finally today, I am back to relative normal...

Friday, January 29, 2010

Recent Pics

Time to get some new shots of the hoodlums...

Danny shows of his conformation.... (no, I did not put him in that position!)

Super Stealth Lucy

Danny head shot....

Lucy in peek-a-boo mode....

Lucy in stalk mode- her favorite past time....

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fun Dr. Appt.

So, I head out to my Dr. appointment today. I am there for a few minutes when I am told that the Dr. was running late- she was at court (I later found out she was testifying for a malpractice case- not hers, of course!). I had already checked in, so I just left, and went to get lunch, and then came back. When I got there, there was a very full waiting room. I walked up to the window, and saw a sign that said "at lunch 12-1". So, I sat down in the front row, as those were the only open seats.

A couple minutes later, the receptionist appears behind the window. With that, an elderly lady gets up, looks at me pointedly and states "Now we go up and get in line in the order in which we came in". Basically she was making clear to me that I better not get in front. So, at this point, I just smile to myself and read the newspaper I had brought in with me. I never even get in line to check in, which clearly vexed the lady.

The BEST part though, was that after everyone was checked in, and I am ensconced in my paper, the nurse comes out and calls my name. The look on the lady's face was WORTH the price of admission :) Too bad so sad- I was already here, and you get to wait (I could have told her I had already been there, but it was more fun leaving her thinking I cheated ;)

So, as I am giggling about that little exchange to the nurse, she takes my height and weight (MUCH to my chagrin- I am fatter than last time). Then, she goes to take my blood pressure. She gets ready to put the cuff on, and says "I just have to see where your arm bends", and I say "Well, usually, it's at the elbow". We both burst out laughing.

It was quite a fun appointment after all- even the shot was no biggy, and my bp is stellar- 115/60.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Catch as catch can

Had a relatively healthy lunch today. Followed up by some Baklava by the Greek vendor down the road... How to dismiss good meal choices...

We have no snow left, and I am happy about that!

Had my shoulder looked at today. Evidently, this is the same shoulder I have had issues with for EVER. Last time I was in for a check on it, I was told I should probably have surgery. Well, after my neck and back surgeries, there would be more chance of me convincing a liberal to vote for GW Bush, than for me to have another surgery. Still have to get some testing done, then we will know what the plan should be.

I still haven't gotten the results of my blood work back. IRRITATIONAL. I want to get moving on getting more energy, well, actually, enough energy to live a normal life. This is getting VERY old. I have plans to meet a friend at a local pub on Friday night, to listen to the band that played at her wedding, but at this rate, I will need to sleep all day, so I can go out at night! The girl who I am meeting has become a very good friend, and we are always thinking the same thing at the same time, and we both have very good senses of humor, so it makes for fun times when we get together.

Dogs are fine. Not much to report- this time of year, it's catch as catch can for fun stuff. Can't wait for clinics, and that sort of thing. Danny will be very ready for serious training, and Lucy can work in the advanced levels work.

Well, not much else to report. I hope you are all having a good week :)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Hearty Guffaws of Laughter

As I sit here, typing up this entry, I have to the right of my chair "Chipper" the cat, and to surrounding him are Lucy and Kylie chewing their Nylabones. Danny has come in a few times, wanting affection, and then left when I haven't dropped everything to attend to him ;)

It has been a VERY wet day. No morning run for the dogs, and no afternoon run either. Lucy and Danny played outside a bit this afternoon when I got home, but not much. It's just too wet out there- picture small ponds...

Went and looked at some property to lease yesterday, but when I told the woman what I would pay, I think she stifled a hearty guffaw. Oh well. People think rough board should be the same for horses and sheep, nope, no way. Not for me. It was a nice drive though. Danny barked at a horse as it walked past the car- he's not so sure of those things. Lucy did her usual thing. She is not afraid, but I believe she thinks if she stares hard enough at me, that the door will magically open ;)

Nothing planned for the immediate future- most of my friends are just as sick of this winter as me. It's just so long this year, it seems.

Well, that's it for now...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Confrontation and Zen moments

After work yesterday, I went to work sheep with Lucy and Danny. I was so not wanting to- my shoulder kept me up all night (appt with Dr for that on Monday, thank goodness), but I just sucked it up and went. The dogs deserve as much. Though, I can tell you, that I would not have been adverse to dropping the little ones off, as if a kid going to piano lessons, and when done, picking them up, and asking them how it went ;)

Anyway, I started with Lucy- she did very well. She took every single stop whistle, and we even got two nice sheds in. The sheep started getting sick of the game at one point though, and as I sent her on a fetch, and she arrived at the top, one sheep split off, and Lucy just zeroed in on her- just like a shed- allowing her friends to escape up the hill- So I started up toward her and said "GET BACK!!!" and she did, fine as can be. She so loves a good one on one confrontation- much more fun walking into the faces, then up the butts ;) But, I was really pleased with Lucy, bottom line.

Danny did well- again, didn't split the sheep when we started. When we first started out runs, I was close to the holder, but that seemed to mess Danny up, because it looked like he was working the sheep to the holder- which I understand, because Danny works for him too! Anyway, we decided to stretch out the outrun. Problem fixed. Danny did VERY well. He's a bit slower at the top on his come by - he may be leaning toward being short- but I won't allow that. His away, he can sometimes over flank, but he didn't yesterday, even though I ran up there to prevent it ;)

Danny runs out so fast and happy for his outruns, I am really happy about that. I could get him wider, a tad, but he's young enough, I know it will come, so I won't mess with it, unless it deteriorates.

When we were finished with Danny, we were just chatting, and Danny lay down calmly, looking at the sheep, but not UP, just ready for the next command, but if there weren't one, he wouldn't die either- it was a Zen moment. That's it. Danny's Zen is working sheep. He doesn't look that way at home. Nothing quite rises to this level for him- even though he loves fetch, it's more of a compulsion, than an work instinct.

Anyway, that's what we did. Then, I came home, made a nice ham steak, and then eclairs for desert, and then all the animal planet shows. It was a nice day, and today, I am going to RELAX.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Slipped me a mickey?

I am more tired today, then I was yesterday. That's saying a lot. Of course Danny didn't help by stirring (read: very awake) at 3 something. I am so tired now, that I think I may just fall asleep where I am. Got blood work done yesterday, so maybe that will elucidate for me, what the heck is going on. I just can't do anything- except for required- like food shopping. I don't mean to complain, but it feels like someone slipped me a mickey!

Anyway, on a less dire note, our afternoon play session garnished record filth on Danny. His tail hair is (was) abnormally long- I mean like 8-9" long! Ever try to bathe a dog who is a sweety, thus a tail wagger without getting covered in mud? Well, I am here to tell you, it is not possible. Lucy? A small rinse off, and pat dry- she even licks herself like a cat. Kelpies rule with respect to hair.

This morning after fetch, I brought Danny into the kitchen and cut 1/2 his tail hair off. It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself, and now, less to pick up the mud. He was a good boy. Danny IS a good boy. I may tackle his under carriage next.

I am going to call the carpenter who did some work for me last year- I need some things done, and I want to get on the schedule (new sliding glass door, and beams on the peaks of the cathedral ceiling in the living room, plus finishing my storage area, so no more rodent highway....

Today is work, lunch out, maybe with my FAVORITE ice cream. Here is what I get: Chocolate ice cream, peanut butter sauce, and almonds. TRUST ME, it is like ambrosia to the GODS. My clothes are looser lately, so I can do that. I look at my weight like a credit card. You go up in balance and you go down. Goal is to keep it going down wit small fluctuations depending on the need....

Plan to work the dogs soon- if I can get energy. It's just that what I am doing with them, is not sit still work, and right now, I doubt I could run for a fire.

One good thing is that the Jets are playing Indianapolis on Sunday, in the afternoon, so I will be up to watch it, and maybe I will get together with my sis to do so :)

Well, that's it for now. Stay tuned for further updates, should any arise :)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Cracker puppies

My friend in Australia has a litter of Lucy pups. Well, what I mean, is that they are pups out of the same parents as Lucy. They are seven weeks now. Word is, some already have eye on the chooks (chickens); at only 7 weeks. If you have been reading my blog for any time, you will know that Lucy is a stand out among her peers. Her working ability, temperament, and athleticism are second to none. No dog is perfect, but Lucy has the whole package. I have uploaded a few pics of the pups. These are the same breeding pups, that I have video of 9 week old pups doing outruns, naturally on geese. Very stylish.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Another Week

We got sleet last night. The best way to describe what I saw on the ground/deck, was a giant slushie. Just wet stuff. A real mess. I was able to throw for the dogs a bit this morning, but cut it short, because I didn't want them to get injured slipping.

When I went to pull out of my driveway, which I had parked at the end, in preparation for the bad weather, my car just would not go forward- too icy. I had to back up and then try again, and was then successful.

I worked the dogs over the weekend. Lucy is basically in stop and stay stopped when I whistle boot camp. It's been a long time coming. If I give her an inch, she takes a yard- literally. To her credit, she gets it, or seems to. She just has such an over-riding need to stay with her sheep- which is not a bad thing... I just wish I had been more clear when I started her. Before we worked, I had to sort some sheep.

There is a group of bred ewes with a ram, in one pen, and next to that is the non-bred group. Well, I sent Lucy in on what I thought was the non bred group. She went in, and uncharacteristically, stopped to sniff noses with one of the sheep. Sort of like "Hi, my name's Lucy, what's yours?" I paid it no attention, because right after that, she took them all out. Then, I realized that this was the bred group, and that was the ram. This ram has hit some dogs pretty hard. But, either he was respectful of Lucy, or he appreciated her "way", and he didn't feel the need to nail her. Good girl Lucy.

Lucy's work was good, but her outruns have tightened up a bit, owing to not working her as much as I should. She will be running in pro novice this year, so we need to get everything tuned up. If she will take her stop whistles, I have no doubt we will be okay.

Danny worked too, but my legs were cramped up from running a lot with Lucy (remember, stop boot camp). So, I could not work him much. He's doing very well though. He is getting better on his come by flanks (not so tight), and he loves my quiet whistle. He is so keen coming onto his sheep- apparently confident- not willy nilly. He will cover nicely if the sheep go to escape- we do a bit of that, just to help improve his balance. He will respond nicely to a gentle correction, which is optimal.

I was so tired last night, and nothing I made for dinner tasted good, so I made chocolate chip cookies ;)

Well, that's it for now. Another week...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Had to Share

Last night, for the third night in a row, I dreamed. What did I dream about this time?
Well, the setting was the back yard, and we had a big melt- so much so, that there was a big stream running through the center of the yard. The dogs were enjoying it, but no dog so much as TUCKER. Tucker was just running and sliding into the stream- full of muck and mud, big Boxer smile on his face. He was so happy. I looked at him, and I was happy too.

I awoke this morning with a smile. Tucker loved to get in and wallow in mud to cool off. I wonder if Tucker is letting me know he will be okay?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Ode to Lucy

Ode to Lucy

There once was a red and tan kelpie
Who I just could not get to stop, God help me

Then came a day when I went all a twitter
I just could not keep trying and being so bitter

I asked her to stop and she just ran through it
I ran up to her, and she knew she had blew it

But, did she then take my whistle?
No, it was as if she were trotting on thistle

What did I do, to try and fix this mess?
To get her to stop, and for once at her best

Well, I calmed myself down
And turned my frown upside down

Instead of blowing my top
At the lack of a stop

I breathed in deeply
And whistled so sweetly

She ignored me again
But this time I was ready

I ran up the field, and met her half way
She looked at me as if to say “no way”

I took her back to where I had asked her
I lay her down and and to her psyche I asked her

Do you want your mother to have a heart attack?
Because if you don’t start stopping, I will surely hit the pack

So, I sent her again, and I whistled with feeling
And wouldn’t you know it, I saw her mind reeling

She slid to a stop and looked at me knowing
I better remember this now, for soon she will be going!

She’s a Fair Dinkum Aussie, to her sheep she is true
There’s no dinking around when you get a Kelpie with you

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Cleaining out, Optimism...

So, we are supposed to get some warmer weather for the next few days. It will be nice. But, then, on Sunday night, a storm is forecasted- could be sleet and rain. So, maybe we will stay almost or above freezing. That would be OPTIMAL.

I cleaned out my kitchen cabinets the other day, removing lots of items that I will never use, and re-organizing the items I am keeping. Now I have tons of space- this is good, because space in my teeny kitchen is at a premium. I now have to tackle under the sink, and the giant black hole that is my pots/pans cabinet. What else is there to do this time of year? May as well get it done.

I am starting to look a little more optimistically at spring arriving. I can't wait. It's been a hard winter thus far. Just so cold, and dreary. Still, no matter how cold, with a couple of exceptions, I have brought the dogs out (just Danny and Lucy in the morning, because Kylie will bark) to run, twice a day. Lucy has lost a bit of weight- is fit as a FIDDLE, but lean. I will up her rations a bit. Danny is good. He's thin, but healthy thin. Lucy is of late, sensitive. It's the best way to describe- no, not on sheep, but for instance this morning, she came in the bathroom while I was getting ready, and stood behind me, and then didn't want to walk past Kylie. I am thinking now, that maybe she didn't want me leaving for work, and wanted to go work the woolies...

Yesterday after work, I was just so tired, I had to go lay down. I left Danny outside, and fed the dogs a bit later than normal. I don't know why I was tired, but I cracked my new book open "An Irish Country Christmas" by Richard Taylor, and got up to page 40, before I succumbed to sleeping.

This weekend, not sure what I will do- I would like to see that movie "The Lovely Bones" if it isn't too scary... I will also watch football, and tackle the pot/pan black hole.

Well, that's it for now.

Monday, January 11, 2010

A Brighter Day

My team :)

Danny in the big field

Isn't he handsome?

Good distance on the fetch...

Danny on the fetch- doesn't he look relaxed?

In response to me uttering some innane statement, Lucy looks back at me as if to say "WHAT do you WANT?? Can't you see I am BUSY???"

I KNEW it says Lucy- you interrupt my work and these girls think they can take off on me!

I worked Danny and Lucy the other day. I was prepared this time, and had my toe warmers, plus my Smart Wool socks. Those toe warmers are the BOMB. Keep my tootsies toasty warm, and prevent that horrible frost bite. I had about 5 layers on, so I suppose it's a good work out, just walking around in that amount of extra weight...

Anyway, I started with Lucy, just more work on straight on driving, and listening, and just being calmer- she gets those sheep tooling along, and doesn't always ratchet herself down... She did pretty well, and as always, is so keen to keep trying. I had three sheep that were very light, and she had a heck of a time getting them settled along with me, to complete a shed. But, CRIKEY!!! They had just started to bail, and I called Lucy in and BOOM, in like 1 second, she came in on the head of the last sheep, and shed her off like a pro. No one saw it. Of course. But, it was a ten pointer for SURE! No, this is not like a fish story...

Then it was Danny's turn. As it turned out Danny worked in the big field. Danny was very happy to work, but you could see a wee bit of worry, because he felt the pressure from the sheep wanting to run away, so he was more workman-like, I guess you could call it. He is doing well, sometimes slices, but that's getting less and less, as long as I correct him at the right time and place ;)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

On What We Really Want

You know, as we age, I think we begin to see things in terms of not "what" will make us happy, but just being happy. I am guilty as anyone at focusing on what will lead to happiness, but you know, I have found more often than not, when you FINALLY get that which you THINK will make you happy, many times you feel empty- like you worked so hard to get there, and your there, finally, and now what?

That statement about how life is a journey, not a destination? Well, more and more, I am settling into that mindset. Just living my life, and seeing where it takes me, and by God, not setting up some imagined need to get goals, to be "happy".

Here I am on my day off, contemplating the day- work dogs, football, and pigs in a blanket for dinner- sounds good eh? Well, to me it does. Then, I think of next week; lots of work no doubt, but I am sure there will be up points there too.

Dogs? I am just happy to have my dogs with me, happy and healthy. In just over a year I have lost two, Cori and Tucker, and their passing has underscored just how important it is to enjoy everyone/everything for what they are, and that nothing is forever, so please take heed. If there is something you have in your life, that sometimes you take a bit for granted, know that the day will come, where you will no longer have the opportunity to share the love you have for them.

I hope that my time on this planet is filled with more good memories, accepting what I have, enjoying what I have, and the little things, and sharing the joy that I feel in every day, surrounded by friends, family and my four footed family (oh, and two footed- lest we forget Ricky and Lucy, the Parakeets).

In closing everyone- I may not be the most exciting person, and I may not have a lot to offer, but I hope I can share with you all my joie de vivre, and that perhaps, for those of you going through tough times, I can be of some support.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

My Boy

I picked up Tucker's ashes today. They had also done an imprint of his paw. I have placed Tucker, and his paw print, along with a favorite picture of this beautiful boy, on my Barrister book case, which sits next to his crate, in my bedroom. I love you Tucker. You are always in my heart, and I will see you again. If my tears could build a bridge to you, we would already be together.

Weak again

So, the emotional and work loads have taken a toll on me. Yesterday, when I got home, I was short of breath- and that lasted until I fell asleep. I wasn't stressed about anything. I awoke this morning with the same thing. Today, I am just very weak and tired. I guess it's time for another B-12 shot...

I got a call that Tucker's ashes are ready, so I will pick them up today. My boy will be home, in a manner of speaking. I still look for him, and sometimes I expect to see him. Nikke misses him. He was the only dog who liked her as a friend.

I worked Lucy and Danny on sheep, and just simply froze, nearly to death, I think. I got my butt wet, and I think I subsequently got frost bite. Hard as heck, this weather. The whole nation is suffering. Oil prices are going up (of course). I hope we get a January thaw....

Mr. Chips will now be known as Chipper, as it rolls off the tongue better. He decided to go out with the dogs this morning- even though it was 12 degrees. He was more than ready to come in when I got back to him....

Not much to report, it's January, now, officially my least favorite month.

Feeding Cattle at -15C. New Holland TS115 plus Snow and Ice!

I can just hear the cattle saying "Thank you!!!"

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Starting to..

Compose myself. I have entered the phase of trying to go on, and think of Tucker at times when I allow myself- if that makes any sense.

Last night was hard again, but I was able to occupy myself with normal, every day life activities. Some time this week, I will pick up Tucker's ashes, and also the imprint they did of his paw. I will also draft a poem, and put together a memorial for him, in my home.

I know I have to go on, and I will. Dogs, especially heart dogs take a bit of your heart with them when they go, as they should.

Work has been extremely busy, and I can't see to catching up. My feet are really bad with all the cold, and I may have to buy stock in Smart Wool socks, and perhaps buy some batter operated socks, and long johns. This winter has been very cold- for most of the country I think. This morning it was 10 degrees at my place. I did go out and play with the dogs, but not as long as they would have liked- too cold darn it!

Well, that's all for now, I hope that with each day, I gain more strength, and fortitude to deal what life throws me, just like Tucker did, as he began to fail.

Monday, January 4, 2010

No title

Losing Tucker has been beyond tragic for me. I have never been this disconsolate. Tucker was a very very good dog; never asking for anything. He had his place in my family, and he was pretty much the heart of it. Tucker was a mere four months old when I bought my house, so basically, my home has never been without Tucker. I never really realized just what it meant to say good bye to him, until yesterday, when I had a complete melt down. I was physically ill. I had looked at some photos of my boy as a strapping, strong Boxer, who had the most soulful, and strong eyes. That caused me to wail. Finally, so tired, that I could not cry more, I started to get my mind on something else. I watched my team play, and they did well.

As the night came on, I cried again. I finally slept. I awoke this morning and did the usual chores, and then it was time to feed the dogs. I was just about to head to Tucker's crate, when I realized that he didn't need to be fed. Then I cried again. I fed the dogs, mixing in the Taste of the Wild that only Tucker got, because it is expensive, and the only food he could do well on.

The house is very quiet. Tucker spent a lot of time moving through the house of late, and drinking water. He was ever present. Lots of being let out, in and just general care. The dogs are quieter too. They still go in his crate looking for remnants of food that will never be there again.

Through all this, my friends have stood with me. Thank you to everyone who has called, or emailed. Please know that I just can't talk about it on the phone yet. It is too hard. But, I have gotten your messages.

This has changed me as well. I will no longer be going to events, or doing the usual dog things, without bringing all my dogs. I won't leave anyone out. No more. We are one family, and all the dogs, even the retired ones, will be along. Often, those of us who work dogs, tend to just leave the retirees home more and more, and sort of shuffle them to the back. It isn't fair, and if the dog is healthy enough, and wants to go, they should go, and in my case, will go.

I am consciously trying to think of other things, which helps me day to day. I have no interest in working Lucy and Danny. Partially, because it is so cold and also, because at this point, I want to be home more.

I still look for the sign that Tucker is back at home.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Don't know if I can do this

I have not been able to stop crying. It has slowly dawned on me that my Tucker is gone forever. He's the reason I have my fenced in yard, he's the reason I started the agileboxer list, he's the reason I am now so into dog activities. He's the reason. My sister and I delivered the litter on October 26, 1996, he was one of nine. Not a flashy fawn, but a very handsome one. He actually loved obedience. He was my staunch protector, and I don't feel the same in this house without him. His first job always, was to protect me, and my home, but he was never aggressive. Tucker loved life, he taught me to lighten up.

I will forever feel gutted, that as he aged, I didn't include him more in my travels. Tucker couldn't do a lot due to his tenuous stomach issues, but some years ago, I found a combination of food he did very well on.

Last night, Kylie walked around the house looking for Tucker, and Nikke went and slept where he did the night before. OH GOD, I want him back. My head tells me it was the right thing to do, but my heart can't take it.

This house feels empty. I pray that with time, I will be able to accept what has happened, but for now, I must try to function, for my other animals, though my heart is in pieces, and I don't honestly know how I will do it.

I know this, I will never ever get over this. I may learn to live without my boy, but I will never get over him.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Good bye Boo

Today I said good bye to my Tucker, "Victoria's Lustig Tanzer". Tucker was my Boxer boy. He was my friend, and my protector. Tucker was always there to give me a kiss, or to stand by my side. Tucker tolerated so much from the puppies. Tucker, like most Boxers remained in good spirits, even though his body was failing. Tucker looked at me on New Years eve, and his eyes told me he was tired. He did not want to keep on going. I cried and cried. I didn't want to let him go. But, how could I keep him here, just for me? I helped bring him into this world, and I had to be there when he left. I held him gently as the drugs were administered, I said "I love you Boo, I always will forever" as I kissed his forehead. I held his neck and breathed him in as he passed, and then I lay my head on his neck as he left his grip on this world go. I then saw that he was a peace. He wasn't in pain anymore. He was free. Tucker, you will NEVER EVER be replaced. I cannot imagine life without you, and I will see you soon. I love you my boy. You never asked for anything but gave me so much. I pray that you are at peace, and know how much I loved you.