Am depressed and tired. I think I have come to a point in my life where when the going gets tough, it sure would be nice to have someone there to support me. I get tired. Just plain tired. Everyone has highs and lows, that much I do know, but sometimes you just get tired of being tough and tolerating what you are served.
I am so tired from getting to and from the farm twice a day, so much driving. I am wondering how the hell I am going to get rid of that pile of straw from cleaning the barn. I am wondering how I can increase my flock without more room for them in the barn. I am wondering how I am going to get more fencing up and more work done with no money. I have no idea. Being poor is nothing new to me, but I have never (in the past) let work get to me- the amount... it's a LOT of work.
I have to seriously consider exactly what I want to do. I know if I had a closer place to house my sheep at, life would be distinctly easier. I did find a place, I thought, but I think that option is no longer feasible. The owner wanted a LOT of sheep and for me to do the work, but I can't really do all the work alone- and for someone else. I do not want another boss. Maybe my problem is the want. Maybe I need to stop thinking about what I want and just handle what I can now.
OH TO WIN THE LOTTERY.
This has been my public service whine for the day.