Monday, October 6, 2008

I miss my dogs, and just who I am.

Let me answer the last part first- just who AM I? Well, maybe it's better I say who I am not. Here's what I am not: A person who is looking to upset, or irritate others. I am also not someone who is thick skinned, therefore, if you are going to be really really mean to me, and you all know who are you are, please know that when you do that, you hurt me for a very long time. Sometimes, I never heal. All I end up doing is stashing myself away from humanity even more. That may be your plan, I don't know. I can't control other people, I can only control myself, and myself just ain't up to being treated in a rude, mean, or otherwise ill tempered fashion. Maybe I just ain't up to today's world. Maybe I just need a thicker skin. I don't know, but to those of you who come at me with nasty emails, or comments please, keep in mind that the person you are attacking has feelings, and well, may just not be up to fighting the fight anymore.

I miss Cori. I keep looking at the spot where she always lay. I keep looking at her collar. I keep wondering if I was right to have her euthanised and not give her just a few more days. Cori, I am so sorry girl. I miss you so much. This house just isn't the same.

I miss Lucy. I miss her joyful grin, and her let's do it attitude. I miss our time together on sheep. I just miss being around her. I never thought it would be so hard. Well, it is. I know it is good for you, but it doesn't make it easier on me. Something tells me that it would be good if someone would just put me in a coma for the next month, and then I could wake up not having the view of putting my Cori down forever emblazoned in my mind, and I would also have my Lucy back.

1 comment:

Darci said...

Sorry to hear that there are those that still feel a need to stalk you. Rise above, and smile, and tell them,"And you have a nice day too!" And then laugh like a witch! Ah hahahahhahaaaa!
If your still looking for another dog, perhaps now, while Lucy is gone and you need some one to fill the space that Cori has left it would be a good time to really have a serious look around for another canine friend.