Introspection

I tend to be a bit introspective when I have down time, and lately, no exception to the rule...

I wonder what makes people happy? Is it having money, is it being in a relationship, is it being successful in a hobby? What is it?

Sometimes I am downright unhappy, I guess that's pretty common. I have started to look for a pattern, for when that happens. It seems to be when things are drawing to a close- the trial season, or when I get back from being out of town. Or, when I think about what I *really* want. Basically, times when I am not busy, just busy thinking about the fact that what I have isn't what I *really* want.

I am so used to being independent, which has it's compensations, but one thing that is lacking, is having a second person to be supportive, understanding, and who can help pay the bills. It's just not feasible for a SINK (single income no kids) to be able to own a farm. It just ain't happening. I look, and inevitably realize that it will never happen. So, then I have to get back to what IS reality, and be happy with what I have.

So many people are much less fortunate that I. I work very hard for what I have, and I feel like I should have built up some credit in the good Karma column, but so far, I just run barely solvent. What to do? Nothing. I have to find the happy in me.

My blog is generally all about what I am doing, have done, will do. What about all the time in between? Maybe my blog has to change a bit. I mean, it's MY blog. There are oft times when I purposefully don't share my feelings, because there are folks who read my blog for, um, well, no reason other than to keep tabs on someone that they don't like ;) You know who you are.

Then, there are the good folks who have never met me, but I guess we sort of hit a mutual chord in each other, and we get each other. You folks, you make my day brighter. You know who you are :)


Anyway, I think I need to be less introspective, and realize that no one is perfectly happy at any time. Life is what happens when you are making other plans (thanks John Lennon).