Trauma vs Drama

I spent all of last year getting right with myself.  By that, I mean with my head.  Learning to distinguish between trauma, and drama.   Trauma is the stuff you went through in the past, starting in your childhood, and drama is present day issues that hit you.  Trauma can be things likes how you were raised- was it truly a loving environment, where you had an identity?  Did you feel valued, and loved?  Things like that.  Drama is things like stress from bills, people treating you badly; just basic every day stresses.  This every day drama can activate past trauma.  An example of this would be:  Someone you know yells at you, and for no real reason that you can see.  How you react to that will most naturally be going back to your trauma.  So, that could mean your response is to behave as you did as a child when your parent screamed at you.  You may get very quiet, not respond,  and bottle it up.  As the day wears on, you begin to project those feelings on others, and you remember all the hurts you received as a kid, and the narrative in your head tells you that "yes, all people are bad".  This is what I mean by drama kicking up trauma.  How to get out of that?  Well, when someone yells at you, tell them *not* to do that anymore/again, and say it calmly.  You *must* deal with it then, and there; speak up.   I promise you it gets easier every time you do it.  And people respect you a WHOLE lot more than when you just accept their abuse, or scream and cry and hold things in, and become a bitter person.  Being a bitter person is WHAT WE NEED TO AVOID.

 

People are trying at times.  But they do to us what we tolerate.  People come "as is". There is no potential, not when it comes to interpersonal relationships.  Do not tolerate bad behavior because your trauma taught you that in order to get love, or other resources, that you have to be ignored, or treated badly.  Do NOT let your trauma dictate your adult life!  I can't say that enough.  NO ONE has the right to belittle you, or take you for granted- NO ONE.  You must be willing to row your own boat in this world, in order to live the life you truly deserve.  You deserve to be peaceful, and content.  Good relationships are calm, loving, respectful.  Drama in relationships equates you allowing your trauma to rule.  Don't let that happen.  Anyone can treat us badly *once*.  After that, if it keeps happening, it is on us.

We need to get to our peace.  Peace trumps every single other thing in the world.  If you have peace in your mind, you can handle anything.