Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Actually... Happier than I have ever been

 Hi guys!  So, now that I've done the housekeeping task of venting, I'd like to talk a little bit about some of the things that make life really good for me, and probably many many like me.

I spent the majority of last year getting right in my mind.  I had spent a few years prior to that going through this hyper speed evolution of who I was.  I made up for lost time in many ways.  I ran a lot- from my life.  I can't tell you why I did it, but I did.  I suspect maybe some sort of mid life crisis, but I would prefer to frame it as a growth period :)  I made so many friends, learned so many things, traveled so far, so much.  I took many risks, and that in and of itself seems to be a rarity these days.  At the end of it all, there I was.  Back home, to the life I ran from.  And me and that life got to know each other again. But this time I was the real me, the spiritually awoken me.  I can tell you, it was massive upheaval, and a lot of angst, interspersed with a lot of joy, and in the end it was SO worth it, to see the outcome.  I guess that's how life's challenges are, right? The thing about life, as they say is "timing is everything".  Who knew, that in 2019, I would be mentally prepping myself for this year.  2020.  The year that wasn't anything but one giant detour.  I had my moments where things were really really tough.  But I can literally count them on one hand, and they lasted so little time, that honestly, no sleep lost over them.  That is huge.  I used to be a big time obsessed worrier.  Anxiety was my middle name.  Now I know everything will be okay.  Period.  It will.  And on my weak moments, I tell myself that, just as an affirmation.  Things I cried about, I laugh about now.  See? upheaval can be a very good thing.  

A big part of my happier than ever life, is not tolerating bad behavior from others.  It means choosing friends, etc., carefully.  It means speaking up when I find something that does not mesh with how my life should be.  It means walking away from those who choose to ignore my boundaries.  It just means putting me first, at all times.  And, at the same time, looking at ways I can be a better person myself.  Every day I do that.  I question myself as to my reactions to things, and if those reactions are actually in response to what is happening, or simply baggage from past hurts creeping up.  It's usually he latter.   You must, as I have learned keep only the people that make you smile, and proud of yourself, and those who want to see you grow, and be successful.  

That's it for now, hope you enjoyed reading!

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