Two years!!!!!

Hi Everyone!  I have no idea if anyone is still around.. I am here, finally.. present in my life.  It has been a long time coming.  Social media seemed to take up a lot of my keyboard time, but I found myself just a little less than satisfied with my ability to share honestly.

So much has happened.  I thought I found true love and lost it.  I almost sold off all my sheep.  Sold some dogs. Basically, I went through the wars emotionally.  Seriously, it was tough!  I did not share this publicly, and I won't go into great detail, but I became a true cliche- the one that shows you who is important to you when you are down, who is there for you when you are down, and what is important to you no matter what.


So, what now?  I have just two dogs.  Joe, and Robbie, who turned a year last month.  I lost Lucy a couple months ago.  Lucy, the dog who started this sheepdog journey for me.  I will be burying her in her field- the first sheep field I fenced, later this week.  Fitting because it was April 2010 that we got that field set for the sheep. 

I no longer sheepdog trial, the entire social part of the trialing is just not something I can handle.  I don't blame the people, I just blame the game.  So I don't play.  I wish everyone who still does trial well.  I am more a farm girl now, and a girl who likes her solitude.  See, sheep farming for me is not work; it's my passion.  I have always been an animal person- I feel right with them.

I have also gotten into dancing, which I learned on my travels to New Zealand of all places.  The dancing gives me a chance to express myself, and just focus on giving to me, instead of animals, or others.  It's a good balance, this dancing and sheep stuff.

This year, lambing was super tough.  I had mainly all first timers. I lost two ewes.  One to ringwomb, and one who had twisted lambs I could not get out. I have never encountered this ever.  Really took me down a lot of pegs.  The lambs I do have are nice.  A couple little guys, but on the whole very nice.  I hope to sell at least one of the ram lambs as breeders.

Okay, now this part is hard.  Over the last two years, I've lost some real friends, and acquaintances.  Sometimes that happens in life, because we just lose touch, and sometimes it happens because one of us is just in no place to take *anything* that is not supportive and loving.  That would be me.  You all have no idea how bad it got for me.  I hope I can get back in contact with those who I am meant to be in contact with, but it just has to happen organically.  The healed me just doesn't go searching for rainbows anymore.  Been there, done that.

Every day peace, and solace, is really all that matters to me.

I hope you are all well.  I will be writing regularly again.